Month: July, 2009
Crazy Stressful
July 20, 2009
This last week has been crazy stressful! I’ve had to get up early every morning of my vacation go the gym at 5:45am, then proceed over to the resort where my grandparents are vacationing and lounge by the pool all day! I mean the stress of having to lay out in the sun and get an even tan, look at the gorgeous blue ripples of the water glistening from the ray reflecting off the bottom of the pool and wonder if it will blind me like looking into the actual sun, or putting my head underneath the pool’s flowing water fall and wonder if my hair looks good!
Stressful right?!
Well needless to say it was much needed since I’ve had withdrawls from my favorite form of therapy-shoppping! ::sighs:: How I miss you!
So I’m officially back to work, and back in my full of fear and failing mode! I wish that I had a teacher, a mentor and someone to hold my hand during this journey that could show me the In’s and outs of this business…and my camera!
Seriously I feel like my camera is a new boyfriend that you have to constantly take out on dates and push to get to know or get any information out! I sometimes find myself looking into my camera’s eye and saying
“so… where you from?
Canon? Really, where is that located?
So…:::in a sexy seductive voice::: How do I master you?
…oh, sorry to fast?
::blushes in embarrassment::
I know things will take some time and success doesn’t just happen overnight, but listen my friends when I say that Patience is a Virtue in which God did not grant me!
I’m that girl who wants to jump on the treadmill for an hour and loose all the 70 pounds she put on after getting into the “comfort zone” with her husband!
The girl who wants to buy a beautiful dress and wake up the next morning and somehow my thighs have been magically zapped to perfection.
The girl that with 1 blog post America will fall in love with me and I’ll be an overnight sensation and have tons of followers and blog comments! (This one is definitely far fetched but a girl can dream!)
The girl that girl who wants to be the best photographer and have everything that the professionals have worked years to obtain in the matter of months!
Or the girl who is told by her wonderful husband that he has a surprise for her, and keeps bugging him to tell her and ruins the surprise because he eventually get’s so frustrated he gives in!
Yup, that’s me in a very stubborn, impatient nutshell!
Next week I’m happy to say I will be getting my long awaited Canon 580ex Flash. I say long awaited even though I’ve only been begging my husband for 3 weeks, but to me that’s like years!
So I can’t wait to take some pictures with it and test it out!
Take a Deep Breath
July 2, 2009
What is the difference between an anxiety attack and a nervous break down?! I can’t tell which one I’m having with the launch of my website.
I just realized that this is it, my dream and I’m taking the jump. Now if I could only figure out how to breathe!
Everything inside of me is going crazy including my brain with tons of positive & negative thoughts which is creating thunder and rain splashing down my cheeks! I have so many emotions right now! Fear that I won’t succeed, Happiness that I will succeed. Fear that I’ll continue to be a nobody in my dream job of being a photographer, Happiness that I get to do my dream job everyday. Fear that someone is going to take one look at my website and press that ugly red x button at the top of the screen, Happiness that I am putting myself out there and hoping that people see past the product and to what they are really buying – me. Fear they won’t like the product =me, Happiness that I can be myself in this business!
And so much more!
So you see what I mean? I stay awake some nights lying in bed next to my husband with my mind reeling and just trying to clear my head, but my thoughts are like fleas I found on my dog, get one off and you find 2 more!
So with shaking hands and closed eyes (hoping I’m typing this right) I give you…
::gulp::
MissyDesiree.com
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